My Dad

“I watched him as he was picking up that wooden plate I dumped it among the lectures files. He opened his mouth and said, “Who picked up the plat from nowhere?” Mum replied that it was the plate I received three days ago. I know he knew that. I said, “Yeah, it has no name on it.” I went on spontaneously, “Previously elder sister received it with her name carved on it. The patterns on it was nice, too bad it has no name. Maybe the school wanted to cut cost or something.” I watched as he rubbed the shiny plate with his hand stained with diesels and rusts. His eyes were gleaming from the refection of the shiny plat. He rubbed it again and again. I was wondering if he knew what words were craved on the plat. Then I saw something that was carved on his face. A small smile was imprinted on that old-looking and dark tanned skin that symbolizes his big satisfaction with himself. His pride; he was proud of one of his daughter that never truly learn how he got himself the diesel oil stain and some rusts, maybe sometimes with the burnt on his fingers, but earned and achieved something that he never had a chance to do so. Education. He didn’t say anything further; while I was engrossed with the conflicts in the television drama aired on that time. He went to take a bath. I watched mum as she was mopping the floor. By the time I looked up at the television again, I saw the plat was placed at the side of the television. I cried in silence.”

843pm

24June2008

Who Am !?

These few days i been thinking about this question:

"Why...i have changed?"

I dunno what and how did i changed? Time changes, so do people. Yes, yes, i know that. The question is..when..why...how? For these few days (exam stress of course!) I been kept on thinking about it. Haha.. very emo suddenly.

But i have always been.




Is it?



I remember, i used to have a lot of ideas (in primary school) and filled with a lot of enthusiasm during first three years in secondary school. Then i have no more extra interest that ignites me. I studied because i need to. I go to school because i have to. I play because i used to.




I can't remember when was the end of my real, real happy life; where i studied because i loved to, i go to school because i want to, and i play because i yearned for.

I remember that i really used to love to read science books. When i was in primary 3 (9 years old), i love to read science books. i will read and re-read my elder sis' science text book (she was in primary 5 on that time, 11 years old). Then i will questioned her a lot; a lot of questions. When i was finally in primary 4, i had this great, patient science teacher, who will answered all my questions. I would ask questions on standard 5 or standard 6 science subjects (because i had read my elder sis' text books). I would gave answers to all his questions on general science knowledge. He gave me a good feeling deep inside me (not that i admire him ok?!) that was really really warm when he appreciated and praised my inquisitiveness on seeking answers. Although i did not scored the highest marks on this subjects in primary 5 and 6, but i was happy because i knew a lot of things.

When i was in form 1 (secondary school), i have always wanted a lot of assignments. My elder sis called me crazy when i craved for folios. It was a brand new experience; and later i found out that i like to make myself busy. However, I'd learned two cruel statements that made me realize..the world wasn't that beautiful and naive as it seemed. After i entered form 4, i did not have the same passion to read or to learn new science-based subjects anymore.














Well, i just hope i can find back my old, real self. Really, really soon.













Sigh~~ i also dunno what i am crapping now...

Realize

Haha~ Well, i still have exam to do, so i just put up this nice song here. I really attracted to the rhythm and the lyrics! Talk about emo-ing! Anyway; i hope i can sing this song soon! Haha, when i started to realise something la of course! Oh ya by the way,i changed my layout.(Duh, you know d...T_T) Haha, once in a while change the view; not so boring eh! You are not in the wrong blog area laa~~I will update more bloggy asap asap! Dun't worry...i guess? So here is it:


by Colbie Caillat.

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized

If you just realize what I just realized

missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now


(haha, do you wonder how many the word 'realize' appear in the lyrics? Ya ya, it's repeating la of course; chorus part wat! But then i really like the line ' if you just realize what i just realized' Aww...so bittersweet only...but it's true 'it's not always the same...if you don't feel it too." So sad wei if like this.. but i think it's really touchy situation if the guy and the gurl suddenly 'realize' about their feelings for each other..'on that real moment' OMG! I'm sooo emo wei! Lol! No la, saje je..watched too much manga d! LOl! Swt.. . .. . .

Till then,* pass auf dich auf!


*pass auf dich auf: take care in German

My Favourite Sport

i have 1 hour left before go for replacement class later at 330pm. Guess where am i? Haha, i'm in college lab...posting one new blog asap. Hehe~~suddenly want to post something (emo kononnya). But anyway, there's a lot things i want to post here, but aren't able to due to laziness and busi-ness. So yeah, today i have time, so i will post one nice blog entitled: My Favourite Sport. In more specifically: "If you were given only one sport to choose for your entire life, what you will choose, and why?". No no no, i'm not into the upcoming Beijing Olympics, but yesterday when i discussed with my younger sister on her Sports Day, that's when i got an idea to post one blog with that title today.

" One Sport to play in your life, and why "

Simple. I'm a laid back person, i don't do a lot of sports. in fact; honestly, i never really did. Ok, when i was a young gal, my dad gave us three badminton rackets and alot of shuttlecock. So the conclusion= we were in badminton fever for quite some period. It was fun; and not fun. Fun part was when we were able to hit the shuttlecock (yes, with the racket!) and obviously the not fun part was when we weren't able to. Then somehow we quited on that sport. Oh ya, i think maybe because we were out of the shuttlecocks. Lol. Serious! My dad did not buy us the badminton rackets nor the shuttlecock, he got it free from his clients and avid badminton gamer friends. When they were out of stock, we were out of the game mood. Nope, not even within the long badminton period we were excited about winning any Cup.

The end. I mean, for the badminton sports i used to play. Hehe, then once i joined the netball club in primary school. Yes yes, it did sound ludicrous to some of you who didn't believe that i was in the club. Club member to be exact. There were some energetic, skilfully, talented, full-of-potential members around in our club, so the trainers were contented to teach the outstanding one, instead of those who dunno anything. Besides, i never get to hold on that ball for more than 4 seconds in one game. Let alone for me to shoot.

There's once, however when i was in primary 6; my last year in primary school; i get to participate in running for 4 X 100m, 100m, and one more game i can't remember what d. i got bronze for the 4 X 100m though. I never practice (not bother to) for the competition (not even once), that's why i was happy for not getting last position in the event. Anyway, i was really exhausted after the 3 events. i was lack of stamina. hahaa...

I thought i want to participate in athletic club when i was in form 1. However, i joined chess club instead. Hehe~~lazy lazy lazy = lazy results. So anyway, i do admit i like running alot. When there's 'sukantara' in school, i love, and usually get first among others in running 100 m within 4 seconds. Hehe~~ i'm a short-distance runner. Compared to other games ( i haven't try with archery, football, basketball, etc) i love running. Once i ran, i will think of alot of things, few seconds later, i focus on just one thing = keep on running. I will stop, then run, then stop, then run until the end. That's how life should be right? Haha~apa kaitan dengan life i pun tak tau.

Anyway, i was inspire (am i?) by one person, yeah, the marathon runner. I was unsatisfied with his comment (perhaps, criticism? ) on one fine day: " What, 1.5 km in 13 minutes? That's slow~". Something like that. Something behind that. Lol, so when i ran for some event( i think it was during PE time), i kept thinking about that comment. And kept on running. My friends told me that my face was white. Haha~ First time i was feeling cold after running. Nvm~ it's a compliment, i hope so, for the marathon runner. Hey, one day when i'm ready, we will run together for the 'real-marathon event' you always wished for, ok? If i can't run (touch-wood) on that time, i will be the spectator instead. haha, but on my right hand i will carry one big red apple to pass to you. That's our deal! Hehe~ A deal without your permission.

So yeah, in conclusion, i will choose 'running' as my sole sport in my entire life. Because to me, running is a satisfaction that one should treasure. By keep on running, on the end of the run you only know the reason you run for.

Tata! Now is 2.55pm, i used about 1/2 hour to type this blog. Amazing, huh?