Who Am !?

These few days i been thinking about this question:

"Why...i have changed?"

I dunno what and how did i changed? Time changes, so do people. Yes, yes, i know that. The question is..when..why...how? For these few days (exam stress of course!) I been kept on thinking about it. Haha.. very emo suddenly.

But i have always been.




Is it?



I remember, i used to have a lot of ideas (in primary school) and filled with a lot of enthusiasm during first three years in secondary school. Then i have no more extra interest that ignites me. I studied because i need to. I go to school because i have to. I play because i used to.




I can't remember when was the end of my real, real happy life; where i studied because i loved to, i go to school because i want to, and i play because i yearned for.

I remember that i really used to love to read science books. When i was in primary 3 (9 years old), i love to read science books. i will read and re-read my elder sis' science text book (she was in primary 5 on that time, 11 years old). Then i will questioned her a lot; a lot of questions. When i was finally in primary 4, i had this great, patient science teacher, who will answered all my questions. I would ask questions on standard 5 or standard 6 science subjects (because i had read my elder sis' text books). I would gave answers to all his questions on general science knowledge. He gave me a good feeling deep inside me (not that i admire him ok?!) that was really really warm when he appreciated and praised my inquisitiveness on seeking answers. Although i did not scored the highest marks on this subjects in primary 5 and 6, but i was happy because i knew a lot of things.

When i was in form 1 (secondary school), i have always wanted a lot of assignments. My elder sis called me crazy when i craved for folios. It was a brand new experience; and later i found out that i like to make myself busy. However, I'd learned two cruel statements that made me realize..the world wasn't that beautiful and naive as it seemed. After i entered form 4, i did not have the same passion to read or to learn new science-based subjects anymore.














Well, i just hope i can find back my old, real self. Really, really soon.













Sigh~~ i also dunno what i am crapping now...

Realize

Haha~ Well, i still have exam to do, so i just put up this nice song here. I really attracted to the rhythm and the lyrics! Talk about emo-ing! Anyway; i hope i can sing this song soon! Haha, when i started to realise something la of course! Oh ya by the way,i changed my layout.(Duh, you know d...T_T) Haha, once in a while change the view; not so boring eh! You are not in the wrong blog area laa~~I will update more bloggy asap asap! Dun't worry...i guess? So here is it:


by Colbie Caillat.

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized

If you just realize what I just realized

missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now


(haha, do you wonder how many the word 'realize' appear in the lyrics? Ya ya, it's repeating la of course; chorus part wat! But then i really like the line ' if you just realize what i just realized' Aww...so bittersweet only...but it's true 'it's not always the same...if you don't feel it too." So sad wei if like this.. but i think it's really touchy situation if the guy and the gurl suddenly 'realize' about their feelings for each other..'on that real moment' OMG! I'm sooo emo wei! Lol! No la, saje je..watched too much manga d! LOl! Swt.. . .. . .

Till then,* pass auf dich auf!


*pass auf dich auf: take care in German

My Favourite Sport

i have 1 hour left before go for replacement class later at 330pm. Guess where am i? Haha, i'm in college lab...posting one new blog asap. Hehe~~suddenly want to post something (emo kononnya). But anyway, there's a lot things i want to post here, but aren't able to due to laziness and busi-ness. So yeah, today i have time, so i will post one nice blog entitled: My Favourite Sport. In more specifically: "If you were given only one sport to choose for your entire life, what you will choose, and why?". No no no, i'm not into the upcoming Beijing Olympics, but yesterday when i discussed with my younger sister on her Sports Day, that's when i got an idea to post one blog with that title today.

" One Sport to play in your life, and why "

Simple. I'm a laid back person, i don't do a lot of sports. in fact; honestly, i never really did. Ok, when i was a young gal, my dad gave us three badminton rackets and alot of shuttlecock. So the conclusion= we were in badminton fever for quite some period. It was fun; and not fun. Fun part was when we were able to hit the shuttlecock (yes, with the racket!) and obviously the not fun part was when we weren't able to. Then somehow we quited on that sport. Oh ya, i think maybe because we were out of the shuttlecocks. Lol. Serious! My dad did not buy us the badminton rackets nor the shuttlecock, he got it free from his clients and avid badminton gamer friends. When they were out of stock, we were out of the game mood. Nope, not even within the long badminton period we were excited about winning any Cup.

The end. I mean, for the badminton sports i used to play. Hehe, then once i joined the netball club in primary school. Yes yes, it did sound ludicrous to some of you who didn't believe that i was in the club. Club member to be exact. There were some energetic, skilfully, talented, full-of-potential members around in our club, so the trainers were contented to teach the outstanding one, instead of those who dunno anything. Besides, i never get to hold on that ball for more than 4 seconds in one game. Let alone for me to shoot.

There's once, however when i was in primary 6; my last year in primary school; i get to participate in running for 4 X 100m, 100m, and one more game i can't remember what d. i got bronze for the 4 X 100m though. I never practice (not bother to) for the competition (not even once), that's why i was happy for not getting last position in the event. Anyway, i was really exhausted after the 3 events. i was lack of stamina. hahaa...

I thought i want to participate in athletic club when i was in form 1. However, i joined chess club instead. Hehe~~lazy lazy lazy = lazy results. So anyway, i do admit i like running alot. When there's 'sukantara' in school, i love, and usually get first among others in running 100 m within 4 seconds. Hehe~~ i'm a short-distance runner. Compared to other games ( i haven't try with archery, football, basketball, etc) i love running. Once i ran, i will think of alot of things, few seconds later, i focus on just one thing = keep on running. I will stop, then run, then stop, then run until the end. That's how life should be right? Haha~apa kaitan dengan life i pun tak tau.

Anyway, i was inspire (am i?) by one person, yeah, the marathon runner. I was unsatisfied with his comment (perhaps, criticism? ) on one fine day: " What, 1.5 km in 13 minutes? That's slow~". Something like that. Something behind that. Lol, so when i ran for some event( i think it was during PE time), i kept thinking about that comment. And kept on running. My friends told me that my face was white. Haha~ First time i was feeling cold after running. Nvm~ it's a compliment, i hope so, for the marathon runner. Hey, one day when i'm ready, we will run together for the 'real-marathon event' you always wished for, ok? If i can't run (touch-wood) on that time, i will be the spectator instead. haha, but on my right hand i will carry one big red apple to pass to you. That's our deal! Hehe~ A deal without your permission.

So yeah, in conclusion, i will choose 'running' as my sole sport in my entire life. Because to me, running is a satisfaction that one should treasure. By keep on running, on the end of the run you only know the reason you run for.

Tata! Now is 2.55pm, i used about 1/2 hour to type this blog. Amazing, huh?

Updated Lazy blog..

It's been a long time since i posted my last post..hehe~excuses? Erm, busy with assignments, lazy to type, and have no time to online due to revisions for quizzes. Satisfied? Oh well, no one really look into this blog anyway, so i just update some new things i really want to let ppl to know. Erm, not really interesting topics, but just to add some words into here since it's really long time d...=) Suddenly emo..hehe

Oh well, first, let's talk about my college life! Not to brag or anything ok---just to tell. College life (around 1 month only =) ) was fun! i started to blend into the college style; almost ok with it. For example, the lecturer style and study skills. So far so good, since we only have 4 classes now; although some took 5 ( include LAN Subjects). There are more assignments coming up; and more quizzes, and mid-term is just 3 weeks later!

Somehow i do felt the subjects we are taking now are really important and useful for your future life. Finite maths is for social sciences and business life; intermediate english for your strong foundation in english (haha, obviously!), study skills to help you to organize everything in order (tough subjects though~although it's a easy concept), and computing principles for technology era (duh!) Somehow you will tend to improve yourself no matter how in college life due to limited time for examination ( the second month you will have your mid-term exam, 7 weeks later after mid-term you will be having your final exam; how about that? =) ) You will like want to study and study and study! (not because you need to study, nor you want to study, but it is because you want to need to study! ) Anyway i think it's more or less the same style for other pre-U courses, i think.

But then for me, ok ok lor.. I'm a slow learner, i use a year to understand the previous years' course. That is...without tuition. So since college i have no tuition ( replaced by tutorials), i might as well...no! It's a must to double my time for study right? Hehe; otherwise i will have to repeat my course again and again..TOUCHWOOD!!!!!

Till then, mata ja ne*!



mate ja ne* See ya!

Happy Mother's Day

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan

That's most probably the best saying about my mum. Pillar of strength in the family, she is the center of our family universe. She is chef, the maid, the interior designer, the financial planner, and any jobs in the world that she can and she will handle for the family. Born as the youngest among 8 siblings in the family; my mum was not spoiled and pampered as every youngest child was treated. She lost her father at a very, very young age. Her mother opened a kopitiam in a small town in Perak. A typical Teochew girl in the fifties, she grew up as an Independent girl who loves cooking and enjoys adventures with her elder siblings. The strong and sensible characters she developed since she was young became of who she is today; as a women,wife, and a mother of three.

When she came here to Kuala Lumpur after married to my father (age 36), she could not speak any of Cantonese dialect. My mum always complained to us that how insensible of my father, because my father laughed at her who tried to Learn the dialect with the neighbour; instead of helping her to improve on it. Now, my mum speaks of 7 dialects + language; Teochew, Hokkien, English, Malay, Mandarin, Hakka, and Cantonese; while my father only knew Malay, Cantonese, Hakka, and Mandarin.

One day my mum told us the stories during her three pregnancies period. After the first child (my elder sister) was born, my mum felt an intense pain on her stomach. The doctor checked; and found out there was a big lump of liquids in the womb; and must be removed quickly. That day itself she was operated. The dOctor said my mum was lucky that the lump expanded during the last few months of pregnancy, and grew bigger after the birth. If the lump grew bigger during the pregnancy, both of my mother's life and my sister would be in great danger. So that is why after my sister was born, her head was partially inflated; like an inflated balloon. She heard (from my auntie) that the lump was as big as the Milo tin. My mum shivered in fear. She did not dare to see it. But the inflated ares turned to normal as she grew up; so it was ok.

My mum told us how cruel our father was during three three of her pregnancy periods. My father worked till 3-4 am per day; leaving my mum alone in the night. She complained that my father wasn't concern about her; and did not buy papaya slices she craVed for a very long time at that time; and it was the only thing my mum requested to my father. During the giving birth period, my father was not next to my mum (for the first child); and came the next day after. We feel pitiful for her; who had to suffer these periods (No; we did not hate our father). She also said that when it came to name our names; my father did not discuss with her, and my father decided without informing her. She wasn't satisfied with my father's idea to name our name with such a lousy ones (until now). When we were still young; we used to hate our names because the naughties one in our class would tease our names. But when we grew up; we know this is an identity for us; and our names were special; especially mine*wink*. So far as we grew up; we found out that 'Hui Ling' and "Hui Jin' names were used; and until now mine still exist as the sole one. =)
Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together. ~Pearl S. Buck

My mum is a brave; strong Wonder Woman. She is there whenever we encounter 'villains' and our fears in the house. We; were afraid of spiders, insects and unidentified crawling creatures, although they werE much more smaller than us. Whenever we screamed, she will come up instantly; ready with heavy books and old newspaper; to kill the bugs at any chances. We will watched in fear (of course!) and with relief in our hearts. There was one time when we were screaming (yeap! three of us!) over a black spider in our room. We were around 7-10 years old. She rushed up, located the creature, and with the old newspaper and prefect coordination; she swung her right hand and kill it with an instant. We were disgusted with the little squashed one; (never feel pity about it, (i mean, them) anyway) and at the same time we were impressed by her for handling such a disgusting yet bravely act. I remembered a sentence she said that time; "How come you all were scared with such tiny creatures,Yet you all were not scared with someone big like me?" And i remembered my younger sister replied, "Because you were not poisonous!" My mum said, " You think i'm not poisonous?" We all replied, " Nope!" But i think the reason is, " Because you kill the small creatures for us=) "

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. ~Lisa Alther
A man's work is from sun to sun, but a mother's work is never done. ~Author Unknown

I (we) will always be grateful to mum; for any and every thing she done for our family. She complained abOut her tedious work every single day; and we understand it. If any of us did any one of task she does every day, we will probably throwing dishes or kicking up a fuss. Although when we went to work and study everyday, we know what she was doing at home; get up at 5am, wash the mugs, boil the water, prepare the breakfast, wakes us up, prepare lunch boxes, send us out, washes the dishes, mops the floor, does the laUndry, goes to market, hangs the linen, water the plants, cooks for lunch, naps for seconds, waits for us home, washes the vegetables, cooks the dinner, does the laundry again, went to sleep. It was a boring yet energy-consuming tasks, but she endured it every day.

Now, at this last paragraph of the post, i would like to say how grateful i am to my mother; who dedicated her life just for her family. I would never could understand how my mother felt when we talked back to her, raised up our voices to her, made her cry etc. We are the traditionally-typical Chinese mother and daughter's relationship: I did not say 'I Love you, Ma' after 18 years. I did not hug her when i was really, really sad or really, really happy. I did not express my love and gratitude through my mother-daughter conversation. But her mutual love and my love for her are beyond those words. " I Love You, Mum " and " Thank You, Mum for all these things you've done for us " were too common; too powerless to describe the feelings we had for each other. Somehow, deep inside the bottom of our hearts, we both know it all these long.

Happy Mother's Day!


The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet

No one in the world can take the place of your mother. Right or wrong, from her viewpoint you are always right. She may scold you for little things, but never for the big ones. ~Harry Truman

A little girl, asked where her home was, replied, "where mother is." ~Keith L. Brooks

My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon

My mother is a poem
I'll never be able to write,
though everything I write
is a poem to my mother.
~Sharon Doubiago

Quotes are cited from:www.quotegarden.com/mothers.html
WAtashi No Haha Desu =)

Be Grateful..

Be grateful to those who have hurt or harmed you,
For they have reinforce your determination.

Be grateful to those who have deceived you,
For they have deepen your insight.

Be grateful to those who have hit you,
For they have reduced your karmic obstacles.

Be grateful to those who have abandoned you,
For they have taught you to be independent.

Be grateful to those who have made you stumble,
For they have strengthened your ability.

Be grateful to those who have denounced you,
For they have increased your wisdom and concentration.

Be grateful to those who have made you firm and resolute,
And helped in your achievement.

Anonymous

(Found these quotes on an article in a Chinese restaurant 5 days ago)

*denounce:attack, stigmatize, blame, brand.

My 1st New Path~~

IT's been a long time since i posted my last blog...lazy laa! Anyway~ just to inform that i'm officially a HELP University College Matriculation Centre Student!!!Sounds too long right the title? Lol...no la..about the orientation day (28th April) i was ready for the orientation; but what i was not was the day to start the school:29th April. OMG! I tot it was like--erm maybe a week or later--since they told it's a May Intake..right? Right? So nvm la~~~ what to do? Enter the class only lor..and during the orientation day i bumped with Li Vern! Haha~she is taking the same course with me too! Yai! I was relieved because at least i'm not alone for the orientation that day. But i met new friends with Wai Fong (Li Vern's NS fren) and Shaleny (Kepong), and others.. The first part of orientation was fine with the speeches and talks on HMC.

But what happened during the second part of orientation was: tensed, confused, blurred, hectic. We have to decide the class we are going to right away after we are given the confuse-able timetable (damm different from our secondary school's timetable i assured you!) Then within blurred minutes of given by the instructors, Miss Grace (after explanation on how to read the timetable), we are tensed because we supposed to take a group per subject (4 subjects to take) and we must make sure the time of a subject does not clash with the others. Intermediate English and Finite Mathematics are more fixed: You will have 2 lectures and 1 tutorial per week; and if you choose a particular group for the subject; for example: Group A; you will have three A classes; different time per class of course. However, for Study Skills; you will only have a class per week: so it's more easy to choose the class carefully after you choose the other subjects. The most flexible subject timing will be Computing Principles: 1 lecture + 1 lab + 1 tutorial. And you can choose different group per class: eg: Lecture A + Lab 4 + Tutorial C. Hectic, hectic.

So not to crack my head up--i followed Li Vern and Wai Fong's classes, because we have the same thought: not to have any classes on Friday. And we dun have any classes on Friday! Woohoo! So yeah~~ Monday is a rushy day; Tuesday is a long hectic day; Wednesday is a happy day; Thursday is a fine day; and Friday is my holiday! Hahahaa~~ but this will only on first semester: next semester we will have to redo our schedules as we will be taking different subjects.

First day of college life? Since it was started on tuesday; so it was actually a long hectic day. Why? My class started off at 8 am with Computing Principles for 2 hours, then waited until 12.30pm for Intermediate English for 1 and a 1/2 hour, 3.30pm-5pm will be Finite Mathematics. So the free periods in-between were a long-hectic one. I was not grumbling ok?~on the first day only laa i mean..maybe 2 weeks later i will thankful for the free periods..gua. Hahaa

Oh ya~ this week is a nice week: monday: orientation day, tuesday: 1st class, wednesday: happy day, thursday: holiday (labour day!), friday: holiday! Hehe~~ but tomoro i will go to HELP to attend the TMS Meeting..just to look around and see see. Maybe i will join the club gua~~two or a month later--depends also geh. i'm waiting for the JPA Scholarship (still waiting,..and waiting..and waiting) results on 2nd week of May. My dad said if JPA does offer me; then i will have to quit up HELP. So...like that~ for the moment i'm still a student of HELP.

Oh well~~actually i am happy because i finally started my school back; on the other hand i am nervous about my study. Someone said "Chill La'' i heard? Duh~~ i can't be chilled cause i'm not an ice or what lor..but then still; because i suppose to get a nice exam mark to go to degree course with scholarship..and seriously Matriculation only have 1 year to decide. Probably every 3 months to decide. Matrix is about consistency; so i will have to be consistent in pushing myself right? Nah~~ i won't be crazying around for pushing myself too hard; i have negative motivations in my mind in order to make a positive remark for me. Not to too worry for me? Hehehee...

Oh i guess this is a longest post so far?? Might Be. Heheheehehee~~~